Thank You Notes by Jimmy Fallon

Author:Jimmy Fallon
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2011-05-04T21:00:00+00:00

Thank you

… leaf blowers, for making me look like the world’s lamest Ghostbuster. I ain’t afraid of no leaves.

Thank you

… glass of water on my table last night at P. F. Chang’s, for rippling when an overweight man walked by. I know you weren’t TRYING to compare him to a dinosaur, but you just couldn’t help yourself, could you?

Thank you

… people who insist on showing off ultrasound pictures of your unborn children. Just so you know, all those pictures look exactly the same: like charcoal drawings of an alien. For all you know, doctors just give the exact same picture to everyone and say, “There it is! There’s your fetus!” And no one can ever tell the difference.

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